Let Go and Let Birth

I finally gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Mia Jordan Frazer one month ago, on Wednesday, February 17, 2010 at 11:47am. She is gorgeous, weighing in at 6lbs, 4.5oz, measuring 20 inches long. She screamed as they pulled her out, before they could even start to suction her. She wanted her Mama badly, but my arms were tied down. Yes, as scary and wrong as that sounds, they were, because I ended up having a c-section instead of being able to give birth naturally. After all that! Hours and hours of daily Bikram yoga practice, stomach crunches, squats, push-ups, man, I was ready for the long-haul labor and the glory of womanhood in pushing this baby out of my birth canal. But it was not to be so.

So here is what I say to you pregnant ladies out there, or Mom’s feeling blue because they didn’t get to execute their ultimate birth plan… LET GO AND LET BIRTH.

That’s right. Go ahead and draw up your perfect birth plan. Print 6 copies if you want and hand them out as you waddle into the birthing center grimacing between contractions, BUT, leave your birth plan at the door mentally. Its good to have a guide, a GUIDE, but the most important thing to remember is that having your baby is going to be wonderful no matter how he or she ends up arriving. Don’t allow your experience to be shadowed by disappointment, guilt, sadness or fear that things aren’t going the way you imagined. The most important thing is that he/she arrives SAFELY and that you are healthy, so let nature take its course, and let the doctors and nurses do their job. I didn’t want a c-section, not at all. But when the choice had to be made, I made the best choice for my daughter’s safety, and I’m so glad I did.

Birth plans are awesome to have, but don not hold on to it so tightly that you lose sight of why you’re there… to have a BABY, not to have the “ultimate” birth experience. Maybe everything will go perfectly; maybe it will be terribly hard and complicated, even scary. I sure was scared and had NO idea what to expect regarding a c-section. My recovery has been long and painful. Now, after a month, I am finally starting to feel a little bit like myself again, and can move around more freely, and enjoy being a Mom physically. For the first two weeks I couldn’t even get my baby up at night, I had to have my husband get her and hand her to me so I could nurse her, and then he’d have to change her, burp her and put her back down. I was in INTENSE pain, and never more grateful for pain medication and Ibuprofen in my life! But I’ve gotten through it, and you will too, either way.

At my two week check up with my doctor, the same one I ran into buying my superfoods at Whole Foods, I had already dropped nearly 20 of the 24lbs I’d put on during my pregnancy. I had eaten nothing but my superfoods and smoothies through my birth and while I was in the hospital and at home, just giving my body what I felt were all the raw, bare, nutrient rich necessities it needed to heal fast and recover quicker than I would have normally. I was THRILLED! I am still waiting to work out, it’s been a month and I’m planning on slowly starting some light working out for the next week or so, and then starting back at Bikram yoga at 5 weeks post partum. I’ve experience no mood swings, no depression, and even though I’m getting very little sleep, my energy levels are still high, and I’m still able to function throughout the entire day on a high energy level, sometimes without even a nap. It feels so good knowing that all the work I put in during my pregnancy is actually paying off post partum.

I still have a little “speed bump” on my belly, and feel weaker than I was from not working out, but I’ve been walking outside for a week now, which has been a huge help. Like the nurses told me in the hospital, “GET MOVING.” It’s the fast track to recovery after birth. I started out barely making it from the bed to the couch, and maybe the bathroom alone. I couldn’t even shower by myself for the first week. But the more I moved the better I felt, and now I’m feeling much more confident, as nearly everything is “out of my system” and I’m starting to look and feel like my old self.
Things didn’t really go the way I’d planned, but I’ve refused to feel guilty about any of it, or let it hinder the wonderful things that are happening daily as I’m turning into a Mom, and finding a new sense of womanhood all at the same time.

So I urge you to let go and let birth; the experience will be as amazing as you let it be, all on its own. Either way, you can do this. Your body was made to go through this experience and will tell you what it needs. Your baby needs you to be low-key and stress free so he/she can enter the world in a joyful environment. I was tortured by the fact that I couldn’t hold my daughter right away, but she’s gotten over it, and so have I, and I now spend hours each day holding her, which we love, and I’m certain makes up for it.

Testimony -this stuff really works!

I have to say that I am pretty excited here as I get closer to my due date. I am due in 5 days, and she could certainly come sooner. I feel great! This pregnancy has been such a journey and I’ve learned so much. I am most encouraged by my Doctor’s response to my pregnancy. At my appointment last week, she stared at me and my file, and flat out told me she couldn’t believe how great I looked, and how impressed she was at my “perfect pregnancy.” I am not telling you this to toot my own horn, but simply as a testimony to what I believe pregnancy should be for every woman. My Doctor jokingly asked if I’d be her “spokesperson for pregnancy” and go talk to the dozen or miserably pregnant women in the waiting room and at home who had gained tons of weight, were miserably bloated, lethargic, sleepless, achy with pinched nerves and worse. I laughed and just told her, “superfoods, alkaline smoothies/foods, and exercise, exercise, exercise.”

At this point, she said, “OK, tell me about these superfoods and smoothies, and will you write it down for me?” So as briefly as I could manage I dove into the top 10 superfoods discussed in depth in David Wolfe’s book, and then told her the ingredients of the basic alkaline smoothies I make. She couldn’t believe that 5 days before delivery I am still doing my 90 minute Bikram yoga sessions daily, and my 100/100/100, walking my dog and deep cleaning my house. I told her I simply couldn’t help it, I had so much energy!

She commented on how white and clear my eyes were, how radiant, clear and “perfect” my complexion was, and how she couldn’t believe that without eating all kinds of meat and dairy I had perfect blood work, and had only gained a “perfect” 24 pounds my entire pregnancy. I am not even slightly bloated, and honestly feel like I’ve never been in better shape in my life. My core is strong, especially my oblique’s, my legs are rock solid and my rear has never been so hard and small, even before pregnancy! My arms are strong, my triceps more defined than ever, and I have never been so flexible and stretched out in all my 9+ years of Bikram yoga (I am sure this has a LOT to do with all the relaxin hormone in my system!)

I wrote down for my Doctor the basic smoothie recipe, the top ten superfoods and the name of David Wolfe’s book, Superfoods. I didn’t really know how serious she was in her inquiry until two days later I was at Whole Foods with my sister purchasing ingredients to make a boat load of superfood together, and all of a sudden I hear a “Hey!” and there was my Doctor, with a shopping cart ½ full of the ingredients I’d written down for her, and holding the piece of paper I’d given her with all the information. I was thrilled that she was earnest, and saw the value and change this could mean not only for her own health but the health of countless other pregnant women she could directly affect and/or influence through her practice. She told me she’d ordered the book, and was really excited. I told her I was thrilled, and to let me know if she had any questions at all.

As much as I’ve loved having her as my Doctor, I love it even more now knowing that a medical professional like her is truly open and sincerely interested in the truth out there about food and diet, and how it directly affects every aspects of our lives and health, whether or not we choose to believe so.

So again ladies, I’m not sharing any of this to pat myself on the back, or blow my own horn, but to STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU to challenge yourself through your pregnancy and beyond to make changes that will positively affect your entire life. Pregnancy isn’t a time to sit back and apathetically let the days go by with junk food snacking, lethargy and all the other temptations that go along with being pregnant, like doing nothing. This is the time to take control of your own health, the way you feel and look at yourself, and most importantly the health of your unborn child.

Kick your butt into high gear, get moving, and get some good superfoods into your system… you will feel amazing immediately, I promise!!!

Krazy Kombucha

I’m not going to say much about this, because the arguments are fierce and many regarding the topic of kombucha, especially recently. I will say this however. Kombucha SAVED ME during my first trimester (and beyond) of icky-sicky-nausea and other pregnancy pains.

Kombucha seemed to be the only thing that settled my stomach, and made me feel like I was 5 years old again with the flu and my Mom poured me a fizzy ice cold glass of ginger ale that made everything “all better.”
The ingredients in Kombucha are simple: Black Tea, the Kombucha “mother” or “mushroom”, and sugar (plus any other herbs or fruit that each individual company adds, see each bottle for details). Some brands like GT’s Kombuch and High Country Kombucha (see websites at bottom).

I love this stuff. I’ve been drinking it for ten years, and my OB/GYN had no problem with it whatsoever (brought in a bottle of it to give to her, she examined it, and said it was fine). There are “trace amounts of alcohol” in the kombucha due to the naturally occurring fermentation process, but it is truly so trace, that it is nothing that I personally feel will cause harm to you or your fetus. But do NOT take my word for it if you are concerned; do your own research and/or discuss with your own doctor.
Drinking kombucha is similar to those who drink apple cider vinegar for health purposes, which is also fermented (check out the website, I’ve been drinking this stuff for years as well: http://bragg.com/products/acv.html?gclid=CPLI-a_bt6MCFQE_bAoddyDdbg).

What is Kombucha? Kombucha a living culture of beneficial microorganisms (including Lactobacillus Bacterium and S. Boulardii), cultured and/or fermented to bring out all the amazing properties that benefit our bodies. Kombucha contains billions of beneficial probiotic flora (good bacteria) that helps our digestive system and therefore our immune system greatly. Because of all the pesticides, antibiotics, pollution and more in the environment, it is even more important than ever to enhance beneficial micro-organisims in our bodies to replace the ones that are wiped out on a regular basis. We must replenish our supply via kombucha, or other sources such as kefir, yogurt, etc. There is a great product I like as well, called Bio K: http://www.biokplus.com/en/

Whether or not you decide to drink kombucha, make sure that you are supporting your immune system and digestive system throughout your pregnancy and during lactation. You will 100% better, I promise.

Some things found in Kombucha are:
Live Active Enzymes are generally only found in foods that have not been cooked, processed, or refined. That is why Kombucha is raw and unpasteurized.
Polyphenols which fight off the free-radicals that stress the body and your immune system

Organic Acids which can promote tissue and blood alkalinity and help normalize the natural process of homeostasis throughout the body. Some organic acids are:

• Lactic acid helps maintain healthy digestive action (through the probiotic lactobacilli) and for energy production by the liver
• Acetic acid which acts as an antiseptic and inhibitor of pathogenic bacteria.
• Glucuronic acid, normally produced by a healthy liver, is a powerful detoxifier and can readily be converted into glucosamines, the foundation of our skeletal system.
• Usnic acid has selective antibiotic qualities which can partly deactivate viruses.
• Oxalic acid encourages the intercellular production of energy, and is a preservative.
• Malic acid also helps the liver to detoxify.
• Butyric acid protects human cellular membranes, and combined with Gluconic acid strengthens the walls of the stomach and digestive tract in order to combat yeast infections such as Candida.
• Nucleic acids, like RNA and DNA, transmit information to the cells on how to perform correctly and regenerate.

This same information and more can be found on http://www.synergydrinks.com/home.aspx (GT’s Kombucha website) as well as http://www.hckombu.com/ (High Country Kombucha’s website).

As I always say, make your own decision, but based on my own personal experience, kombucha can be a great “feel better” tool to support you throughout your pregnancy and beyond. Enjoy!

***P.S. Several months after writing/posting this blog, the controversy of kombucha came up in the news: http://www.dailyfinance.com/story/whole-foods-pulls-kombucha-teas-citing-alcohol-content/19522361/ Which I thought was ridiculous (thanks A LOT Lindsey Lohan). It is still widely unavailable, so don’t be afraid to look into making it on your own! It is so easy and delightful to have around (http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Kombucha-Tea).

I also LOVED seeing Bethenny Frankel (on her hit Bravo TV show, “Bethenny Getting Married?”) drink GT’s Synergy Kombucha throughout her pregnancy, exactly as I did. =)

You Can Still Go to "Happy Hour"

(My best girls and I at my 29th birthday dinner out; I was 8 months pregnant)

Ladies, don’t deprive yourself of your normal social gatherings just because you’re knocked up. I know it is not as fun drinking a virgin pina colada or soda water with a lime, but it’s okay, you can do it. Instead of staying home because you feel fat, huge, nothing fits, you’re too tired, and all those other fun pregnancy woe’s, just get up off the couch, or make the time in your busy schedule to meet up with the girls, or call some of them, or one of them, and set up a get-together.

One of my very favorite things to do is sushi happy hour… I LOVE my sushi and have missed that tuna sashimi! But I still go to out for sushi… I order a California Roll or veggies rolls, or (cooked) shrimp rolls, and sit there with my “cocktail” (soda water with a splash of cranberry and a lime is great) and thoroughly enjoy my social time. Whatever is your pleasure, keep up with it. Just modify! If you are an avid coffee drinker, and used to meet your friend(s) for coffee, or sit at Starbucks with your laptop, don’t stop just because you can’t crack yourself off on quad venti whatever’s.

Keep meeting your girlfriends or friends, keep going on a Saturday morning with your sister or hubby, and just get yourself some decaf, or a nice chai latte, or tea latte… there are lots of options, including hot chocolate or hot cider.

You’ll enjoy your book, conversation or internet surfing just as much, I promise you.If this is a closet issue, “nothing fits”, “I look fat in everything”, “I feel gross”, then you need to just suck it up and purchase some cute maternity clothes, OR you’d be surprised how cute you can make a pair of yoga pants look with a long sleeved t-shirt, a jacket and scarf, or in the summer, a long maxi or sundress with some comfy sandals. You can do this!!!

You will feel so much better if you just get out of your house and maintain your normal social activities, I promise! I’ve even been to bars for parties… It’s not a total joy ride being the sober Sally, but at the end of the night you feel like you didn’t miss out, and that’s the most important thing. You have to keep your spirits up!

For those of you who have been waiting your whole life for pregnancy and are thoroughly enjoying every aspect of being pregnant, including staying home and sitting on the couch with your tub of ice cream or whatever, more power to you! That is perfectly fine. The point is to stay happy and excited about what you are going through, even when you don’t feel great all the time.

100/100/100 –if you do nothing else

(At the top of Camelback Mountain, Phoenix, Arizona; 8 1/2 months pregnant... You can do it!)

This simple idea has gotten me through many a day of feeling like I just didn’t have any “me” time or time to keep up my exercise or burn any extra calories. I have to thank Bob Karmel my Muay Thai trainer who used to make us do this (amongst other things) at the end of our 90 minutes of intense training sessions 4 times per week.

Yes, prior to finding out I was pregnant I was actively training in Muay Thai fighting, having earned my shorts, I was hoping to have my first fight within the next few months, but obviously my plans changed when I found out I was two months pregnant!
Muay Thai was the first thing to be set aside in my world, obviously since it is a high impact physical activity. I do miss it, but am sure it will be one of the methods I use to get back into shape after I give birth… eventually that is. I can’t imagine training while breastfeeding, initially.

But not to get side tracked… at the end of our training sessions we would “cool down” with various calisthenics, including Bob shouting, “Give me a 100/100/100!” That means one hundred push-ups, one hundred sit-ups and one hundred squats. Not a lot of fun, but let me tell you, it works all of your major muscle groups, you need no equipment, and it takes only about 10 minutes (more or less, depending on how tired you are, and how used to it you are).

Before you freak out, let me tell you to choose your own number. Maybe you start at 20/20/20, or 50/50/50, and maybe you break this up in two or more sessions whenever you get a chance throughout your day. I do sets of 25, so I’ll do 25 push-ups, 25 sit-ups and 25 squats, rest, then keep on going. If I have a lot going on, like for example I’m in the middle of cooking dinner (oh yes, I have no problem busting these sets out right in the middle of the kitchen floor in between sautéing vegetables and stirring the brown rice), then I just do 25 of something in between whatever I have going on, and eventually throughout the morning, the day, or all at once, I get it in.

So on the days when you don’t have time to hit the pavement around your neighborhood, get into your yoga studio or step on the elliptical at your gym, you can at least be sure to get in your 100/100/100.

On the days when I’m feeling fat, when I’m feeling a total lack of energy, overwhelmed, underwhelmed, uninspired, exhausted or stressed, if I make myself do at least the 100/100/100 I feel like I got a tiny little circuit training session, and burned a few more calories than I would have at the end of the week if I’d just given in and done nothing. And there have been weeks where I’ve gotten in little else than my 100/100/100, especially with the class load I had this past year. And even on the days in my first trimester when I was struggling with such severe nausea, ladies let me tell you, if you just force yourself to do it, even if it is only 30/30/30 broken up into sets of ten done three separate times through the day, it WILL make you feel better… get your blood pumping and temporarily take your mind off your misery.

Do what you can. You’ll be glad you did, and you will love the way your arms abs and rear end start looking after a couple of weeks, and the way your little underoo’s continue to fit throughout your pregnancy. I’ve not changed a single size, and believe me, the bigger your belly gets, the more you’ll appreciate a tight little rear.

So play around with it, and give yourself the gift of the 100/100/100. Work up to it if you have to, that is totally fine. If you hate squats, do lunges instead, if you hate sit-ups, do another abdominal exercise that is equally effective, like side-plank crunches or similar. I mix it up some days too. Set your goal, choose your poison, and get busy. Remember if you do nothing else, you can always get in your 100/100/100.

“My Body, My Baby, My Business” - Boundaries in General

(My sister Jamie, my amazing Grandmother and Mother, and myself, 3 weeks before Mia was born)

This is a phrase I want you to memorize that I came up with while laying in savasana after a particularly challenging yoga session. I had been miffed for the entire 90 minute session because I had gotten some real negativity about my very active pregnancy earlier that day.

I am sure if you haven’t come across this already, you most certainly will, it is unavoidable. Something happens the moment people find out you are pregnant, they feel somehow obligated to instill in you their knowledge about pregnancy, labor, birth, motherhood in general. And they seem to have no qualms distributing that knowledge to you whether or not you like it. But that’s okay, because we aren’t going to let it bother us, are we. Because we are going to memorize those three B’s, and say them with a smile whenever our personal boundaries are being crossed by an advice distributing individual.

“My body, my baby, my business” And you don’t have to say it all snooty, you can paraphrase or for those of you too sweet to spout it off at some stranger offering unsolicited advice, you can say something along those lines such as, “Thank you for your concern, but I feel very confident with how well I know my own body and baby, and will handle things on my own” or something similar. You catch my drift. The point is, don’t feel bad if you tell people that you don’t want their advice. I didn’t say anything to anyone for the first few months, but finally the amount of “advice” and “opinions” I was receiving from random strangers and people I barely knew was overwhelming, and I felt like I was in information overload as it was from all the baby books, internet research and advice I was asking for from my friends and family, I just cut those people off of whom I didn’t know.

Congratulations and big smiles and telling strangers how far along I am, or that I’m having a girl, well that part is fun and I like that. So get a sense of your own boundaries, and don’t feel like you have to listen to advice that you just don’t want to hear at that time.

The same can go with relatives. Thankfully I’ve had very supportive and non-invasive family support throughout my pregnancy. My Mom only gives me advice when I ask for it, and has been just a dream through everything. Same with my other Aunts, cousins Grandmother and others, but if this is not the case for you, you absolutely can use the three B’s on your family. Let them know that although you appreciate the experiences they’ve had, that this is your journey, and these are things for you to experience and discover.

So ask that they keep the lips zipped unless you ask for advice, and respect the beautiful family time that this pregnancy is, because this is a very special time for you and your partner, especially if you are having your first child. Each kick you feel, new size you have to start wearing, article or book you read together is all part of the experience and adventure of becoming parents, even if you’re already a parent, it is still a special time, and a time that should be respected and honored by your family and close friends.

Let them know that you want them to be a part of the journey with you, but in a healthy way that won’t leave you resentful by the time your little bundle arrives. Remember, it is always better to put up healthy boundaries in the first then to deal with resentment and hurt feelings later, or to become bitter at people just because you didn’t want to, or didn’t have the courage to speak up. Bitterness just takes a toll on you, and we don’t want that, because you have enough going on.

So remember the three B’s, and feel free to use them. People will understand, and be grateful that you were honest. And if they don’t understand, well then that’s their problem, not yours. This is your journey, so enjoy it the way you want to.